Thursday, February 28, 2008

More Oldies

Entertainment Lawyer 01/03/07
#1 So this starlet who has been mentioned everywhere had a little drink Sunday night or was it two or three? Seems she got rejected by an ex in a VERY public way and proceeded to drink the night away and came on to any guy who headed her way. Except for one. Lindsay Lohan 98%

#2 This rockstar’s divorce was recently finalized so he could bring on the next wife. Everyone assumed she walked away with HMM money, but it was not to be. He has a long history of wives and girlfriends who think they are going to take him to the cleaners. What they don’t realize until it is too late is that he has all the ammunition. During their time together he records every incriminating moment whether it be drugs or drinking or another man. When the time comes for parting and they are looking for money, he invites them into his room and shows them why they will not be getting a penny above what he wants to give them. Rod Stewart 98%

#3 In order to support his drug habit, this cat like rock star used to be a gay prostitute. Wonder if he thinks his current girlfriend is as pretty as the boys he used to love. Pete Doherty 98%

#4 This actor has always been known for his HUGE ego. Well now it turns out he has something down below that is just as huge. Talked about in London, but really was just talk, even a legend. It was all supposition really, until he was filming his latest movie. Thinking our star was out and about, an assistant walked into the actor’s trailer without knocking and saw our actor changing clothes and what he saw has been repeated over and over and would put even Mr. Diggler to shame. Ricky Gervais 98%

#5 This singer is out of his mind. His model girlfriend was not beautiful enough for him or he thought he could do better. Somehow he thought his aging, one hit wonder self could get him someone better. What he got was a lesson in how the grass is not always greener on the other side. After bedding a series of 18 year old girls and acting like the wannabe rock star he thinks he is, his ex was seen in public with a collection of men befitting her beauty. Our singer broke and is begging for her to take him back. So far she just keeps laughing at him. James Blunt 98%

#6 Seeing this actress and her complexion Monday night reminded me that she had to miss the world premiere of a movie and almost another because her face had turned into one big zit. Cameron Diaz 98%

#7 A friend of someone mentioned earlier today has been acting like a diva despite the fact it has been years since she could even pretend to be such. Banned from her health club for wanting to work out alone and to bring in her dog, this pseudo diva has also been trying to convince friends she has a relationship with a well known singer despite the fact that no one believes a word of it. Geri Halliwell 98%

#8 Sometimes you hear about something and you just do not even know where to begin. Nevermind, I guess we will start at the beginning. See, there is this singer/actress who has had a bit of a drug problem in the past. Perhaps she has kicked it, and perhaps not. While visiting the UK recently she met an actor who is A-list in the UK, but no one has heard of here although he is in one of the year's biggest hits. He was so enamored of his little doll that he followed her back to LA. She was flattered and loved the attention. He began telling her of his special needs in regards to sex. Think KK video and you will get the idea. Although she did not find it appealing, she was flattered that he wanted to do it with her and so she agreed. UNTIL she found out that while in LA and not seeing her, he was finding some women who accept money for those kinds of things and doing it with them. Serious bonus points for getting his name. Courtney Love and Steve Coogan 98%

#9 What happens when you are at a nightclub and think you are the shit, but no one is paying any attention to you? What happens when you think you can get away with anything and not suffer any consequences? Well this Seinfeld reference decided to take matters into her own hands. An A-list model was dancing on a four foot high stage and drawing the attention of the entire nightclub not only with her beauty but in the way she was dancing. This did not sit well with our spoiled princess and so she pushed the model off the stage and down to the floor. It was only because she happened to land on someone that she avoided a possible career ending injury. Those who saw what happened began to boo at the princess, but she was so into herself that she did not even care. She did not really dance, she just kind of did red carpet pose after red carpet pose. She was loving herself even more than normal. The only problem in her little plan was that the model and the owner of the club are really close so the next thing you know, the princess was yanked from the stage and shown the door. The crowd went crazy and all waved buh bye. Paris Hilton and the attacked was Serinda Swan 98%

#10 This B list television actress is a new relationship with a guy only she could love. The problem is that the the guy really thinks he is God's gift to women. She wants this relationship to work out so much that she is looking past his blatant flirting with other women, while she is standing there. She thinks it is love and he is just using her as a free ticket for award show season. He has no interest in her outside of being that extra ticket, and has acted accordingly. Whether her back is turned or not, he is always looking for the next one. Her friends are appalled, but know it has been awhile since anyone cared and are just hoping things turn out for the best.
Teri Hatcher 98%

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